Choosing a Positive Private Home Birth without the NHS

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We did it! We had a positive private home birth without using the NHS in the Northeast of the UK. In 2021 we decided to start a family. As first time parents we had a lot of questions, and I had a lot of worries. After a several unfortunate events took place my faith in the NHS was shaken. I decided to start to look at alternatives to giving birth in a hospital or maternity unit. We happily settled on having a private home birth, using an independent midwife. I successfully gave birth at home in a birthing pool to our wonderful daughter in September 2022. Looking back, I can honestly say that it was the best decision for our family. Now we plan to do it again.

Why did we decide to give birth at home rather than in hospital in the UK?

Based on my own research, it seems that home births, at least in the US, have become quite normalised. Perhaps this sentiment is starting to trickle into the UK as well? But when I was pregnant in 2022, and discussing the possibility of a home birth with my friends and family it was not the norm. Our decision was met with raised eyebrows. Now, I am not a hippy-mum. I’m not someone who has found mantras or hypnobirthing helpful. I’m fairly pragmatic and perhaps not what you would expect for a home birth fanatic. (And yes, at this point I do consider myself a fan.) So when we expressed our decision to have a private birth at home, without using the NHS, our family were a little surprised. But honestly, I’m so glad we followed our own instincts, and strayed away from a traditional hospital birth. Having a home birth, and a private birth was a truly wonderful experience… so much so we are getting ready to do it again.

If you are reading this blog and do not live in the UK, then you should know that most healthcare in the UK is provided freely via the publicly funded National Health Service. Private hospitals do exist, but very few offer maternity care. The few that do are almost exclusively based in London and the South. So, for our soon to be family of three living in the Northeast of England, if we wanted a private birth, a home birth was our only option.

If our decision had just been to have a home birth, then we could have done so with the NHS, providing that:

• That the NHS has midwives available in your location for home birth
• that you give birth between 37 and 42 weeks
• that you have a ‘normal’ complication free pregnancy
• that you have a BMI between 18.5 and 35 at your booking appointment

I met all the conditions above. The only thing we didn’t know was if a midwife would have been available at the time of my daughter’s birth.

What do you do if you want a private birth, but don’t live in London?

So, what do you do if you want to have a birth without using the NHS, but don’t live in London? After a fair bit of research on my part, I found two options:

1. Option one was a private midwife, who had set up her own one-woman practice that had just started operating in the Northeast.
2. The other was a UK-wide company call Private Midwives.

We chose option two. Private Midwives offered a more inclusive package, that as first-time parents we felt more comfortable with. More on option one later.

To a lot of people it might seem strange to decide to pay for a home birth service when I could have given birth at home for free with the NHS. So why pay for a private birth?

Why pay for a private home birth?

We came to our decision after several incidents took place. Now, this is not a dig at the NHS who provide many lifesaving treatments. But it is the reality of our experiences that occurred in the year leading up to staring our family.

The first incident

In 2021 the first incident occurred when I found a lump in my breast. As you can imagine I freaked out and contacted my local GP immediately. This was in the middle of Covid, although not during one of the many lockdowns. Despite the reduced service, I was immediately invited into the GP surgery and examined. The GP agreed the lump was suspicious and referred me to the breast clinic at my local hospital.

In normal conditions the NHS perform diagnostic tests within six weeks. Calling the hospital I was told that there was no guarantee that I would be seen within six weeks. The hospital couldn’t give me a time frame in which I would be seen. (Had I waited I would have waited for three and a half months before getting an appointment.)

Opting for a private diagnosis

Not wanting a delayed diagnosis I decided to go to a private hospital. This still required a referral letter from my GP. When I rang the surgery to arrange the letter I was very rudely spoken by a GP secretary. The secretary told me that I would be unable to see my GP for at least four weeks. Despite explaining that I only required a letter, not an appointment, she wouldn’t budge. The conversation left me in tears. My auntie advised that I call up again the next day, and I did. Fortunately I spoke to a different secretary who told me the letter was no problem and could be collected later that day.

I was quickly seen privately. And a biopsy showed there was no cause for concern! But the experience with my GP and the NHS left me unnerved. It also shook my faith in the care that I could expect in the future. I found waiting for a diagnosis incredibly stressful. I can’t imagine how I would have coped had I had to wait for 3+ months. The reality of my diagnosis is that waiting three months wouldn’t have mattered. Had the lump not been benign it could have been quite a different story.

At this point we had already started to discuss having a family. We had pretty much made up our minds, that when the time came, we wanted a water birth at home. We decide we would probably look at private healthcare options.

The second incident

I won’t go into detail here. At the start of 2022 the next incident occurred when my husband’s grandfather fell ill. Although his illness wasn’t serious, he was elderly and taken into hospital. In hospital an error occurred which resulted in his death. His death was a massive shock, and it shattered any remaining faith we had in our local NHS services.

The final straw and choosing a private home birth

In 2022 several friends had babies in NHS hospitals and fluctuating lock down rules tarnished their experiences. One friend’s husband wasn’t allowed into the hospital until a private room was allocated, which took several hours. In the meantime she was left alone in a hospital corridor. Not wanting to go through any part of labour without Simon firmly by my side, we decided that a private birth at home was for us.

How much does a private home birth cost?

The quick, simple answer… about £5,500 in 2022. As previously mentioned, after a lot of research on my part, we decided to use a UK-wide company called Private Midwives, who linked us with our midwife Debbie. At the time we chose the most inclusive package of care, as we didn’t want to utilise the NHS for anything. But an all inclusive package definitely isn’t necessary. All our scans, blood tests, everything were done privately. Having looked at Private Midwives’ most recent prices (2024), the same package is now about £8,500.

Now, in 2025 I am expecting again and we are using Debbie again. This time Debbie has set up her own independent practice the Independent Midwife of the North.

Both Debbie and Private Midwives offer a variety of packages. We decided not to start with regular appointments until about 20 weeks (ish), and the cost is just over £5,000. Iou can personalise your care plan to suit a variety of budgets, so it’s definitely worth inquiring. Again we are choosing to to do everything privately and haven’t used the NHS for any of my prenatal care.

What care should you expect with a private midwife when you decide to give birth at home?

A single point of care

For me, the absolute best benefit of a private birth has to be having a single point of care. I know exactly who I am dealing with. What their experience and methods are. And, most importantly, we have had the opportunity to build trust from the beginning of my pregnancies. I don’t need to explain my preferences on the day of the birth, as they already know them. While I did (and do) have a birth plan, it was there in case we ended up in emergency care, it wasn’t something I needed at home. (It did come in handy during my second birth though… more on that later!)

Regular home appointments

With our first package of care in 2022 we had regular home appointments with Debbie from eight weeks. At first they were monthly, then every two weeks, and then weekly from thirty-six weeks. It was fantastic that we could schedule the appointments to suit our diaries. Simon and I are both self-employed and work long hours. At each appointment we discussed my general health and mood. Debbie also took my blood pressure, a urine test and any required blood tests. From twenty weeks we got to listen to baby’s heart beat! Closer to the end we also discussed birthing techniques and preferences. Debbie also suggested things we might consider preparing before the birth. At one appointment Sarah (our lovely second midwife) introduced us to Spinning Babies – a great recommendation.

Private scans

Our scans were done via a company called Ultrasound Direct who have a branch in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. We had an early pregnancy scan, a dating scan, an anomaly scan and a growth scan. Again, our experience was great. We had extremely thorough scans, and never felt rushed. You attend the appointments without your midwife. Later, all the data is sent to you electronically, you can forward everything to your midwife after the appointment.

NIPT Blood Test

I cannot recommend a NIPT blood test highly enough. At about ten weeks my blood was taken and sent off to an independent lab. The test essentially filters the baby’s blood from your own, and tests the blood for chromosomal conditions: (Downs syndrome, Edwards syndrome and Pataus syndrome). This test replaces amniocentesis. Amniocentesis normally happens much later in pregnancy and with a small risk to baby, as well as being less accurate. It was wonderful to rule these potential conditions out so early in my pregnancy. It definitely helped put my mind at ease. If you wish you can also elect to find out your baby’s sex. Each time we have opted not to know.

Blood Tests & Glucose Test

These offered peace of mind, but second time round I’m really not that bothered about these. The initial blood test checked me for HIV, Hepatitis, syphilis, thalassaemia, sickle cell, group, antibodies and full blood count. Being married I wasn’t concerned about having an STI, and was already fairly sure that I didn’t have sickle cells. The blood test was more helpful as it told my blood type as well as looking at things like my iron levels, which did turn out to be low. Second and thrid time round I have worried a lot less about this sort of thing!

Help Colostrum Harvesting

This was something that I knew absolutely nothing about before becoming pregnant. Even then I only learned about it because it was included in our package with Private Midwives. Basically colostrum harvesting is the process of collecting the really thick custard like milk that ‘comes in’ before your normal milk supply. I noticed a little colostrum forming from about 32 weeks in my first pregnancy.

My midwife provided me with syringes (with lids) and the idea is that you ‘manually’ via massage extract the colostrum while pregnant (supposedly safe from 36 weeks pregnant), and freeze the ‘custard milk’ ready for baby.

It’s undeniably gross. But I 100% recommend harvesting your colostrum before baby comes. For us it was absolutely worth doing and made the first 48 hours stress-free. There’s a lot I have to say on the subject, so you can read more about colostrum harvesting (as chances are you have never heard of it) in a blog coming soon.

Postnatal Support & Home Visits

We had about five weeks of postnatal support included in our package of care with Private Midwives. Honestly, I found the first six-weeks of the postnatal period easy (don’t worry it got harder!). But knowing that Simon and I weren’t going to be thrown into the deep end totally alone post-birth really helped psychologically. I was lucky, I healed quickly after birth, I found breastfeeding easy (after two weeks of pain). And our daughter was pretty easy going for at least the first five weeks. This meant we didn’t utilise much support post-birth from our midwife, but it was there, and that undoubtedly made us more calm.

Gas & Air

I wanted to mention this, as I think some people assume that a home birth means that you can’t have any pain relief. Well you can. We had two cylinders of gas and air delivered to our home at about thirty-six weeks. Our midwife brought the tubes and connects it for you on the day. (More about this in our home birth story!) I also used a TENS machine, which I found really, really helped in the early phase of labour. I believe that Pethadine was also available to us, but I never asked or used it, so I can’t say for sure.

Birth Pool

A pool wasn’t included in our package so I bought one for about £200. Now ladies please remember to also buy a liner, I didn’t and our birth pool got binned! I would think of the birth pool as a form of pain management. It definitely relaxed me and reduced the pain. You can read more about my experience of using a birth pool here.

Trust

I have already covered this one off, but I think it’s worth repeating. TRUST. I had total trust in my midwives. We had the time to build a rapport and get to know one another. Let’s not pretend otherwise, giving birth is probably the most vulnerable, physically challenging and significant thing that I will ever do. Having a birth team that you can trust, that knows you, and that you believe will make the best decisions for you makes a huge difference. I had that. I know a lot of people don’t, and that makes me very sad.

How safe is a private home birth in the UK?

When I first started looking at our options to give birth without using the NHS it was because (as previously described) our faith in the NHS had been shaken. Again, this is just my experience. The NHS does great work – I know this. But there is no denying we experienced care that wasn’t so good.

Pregnancy, especially a first pregnancy is a very special but also vulnerable time. We wanted to ensure that our experience and care was going to be as positive as possible. Now I’m sure that it is also possible to receive poor care privately. Of course it depends almost entirely on the person who is responsible for you and your baby’s health. That was one of the great things about having the privilege of choice. We had a private midwife that we could get to know and build trust with from the start.

Choosing Private Midwives, and getting to know Debbie and Sarah from the outset was wonderful. I knew them, they knew me. I knew that they were going to show up on the big day. They got to know Simon, our preferences, our home. I knew categorically that when it came to the day when I would give birth for the first time, I would have the support and expertise that I needed.

Of course, when we expressed our decision to have a private home birth to friends and family, inevitably, and well-meaningly, the first question was always: “aren’t you worried that something will go wrong?” The second questions was usually: “what happens if you need to go to hospital?”

What happens if you have a home birth but need to go to hospital?

Well let me address question two first. Even though we didn’t use any NHS services for my pregnancy or birth, our midwife did register my pregnancy with our local hospital. When we moved house, and we fell under a different NHS Trust we were registered again. I was asked to come into the hospital so that they could open a file for me, and take my bloods. Presumably so that they knew my blood type in case emergency care was required. This meant if something was to go very wrong at home, we could travel to our local hospital and get the emergency care that I needed. Our midwives would come with us. Although once in hospital they would no longer be able to provide clinical care. That being said, they could still advocate for us, as well as offer a second opinion, and oversee the treatment plan. This was my experience second time round, and I am so glad Debbie was there!

What happens if something goes wrong during a home birth?

Now, I am not a medical professional. So this is all second-hand information from my own research or from questions I asked my midwife. As well as my own personal experience. Read what I have to say if it interests you, but do your own research as well. Come to your own conclusions.

From what I have researched, the main reason that women who want to give birth at home, but end up transferring into hospital during labour is because they decide that they need more pain management than they can have at home. Perhaps not what you were expecting? At home you have the following pain management options (as far as I am aware):

1. TENS machine
2. Gas and air (Entonox)
3. Pethidine injections
4. Water birth (I found getting into the birthing pool when I went into active labour really helpful. At least initially the pain really reduced, and I loved being able to easily change positions.)

If however you want or need more pain relief then transfer to hospital is required.

There are also other more serious reasons that might lead to a hospital transfer, such a fetal distress, vaginal bleeding etc. (More on my experience later.) But from my research, it seems that most home births tend to be fairly uneventful, and the potential transfer to hospital is unlikely. From my reading, this is in large part due to a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is the love hormone. You can’t give birth without it. It’s the same hormone that you release during sex.

Oxytocin is produced when you feel loved, safe and secure. So it makes sense that at home, where you are most comfortable, where you can dim the lights and where there are only a few trusted people, you are more likely to produce oxytocin in greater quantities. The theory is that potentially, in a hospital setting, the environment is less conducive to oxytocin production. When oxytocin stops or stalls, so does your labour. That’s when you may find yourself being offered synthetic oxytocin to get your contractions going again. My research told me that this path often leads to further interventions, such as epidurals, forceps, fetal monitoring and eventually unplanned cesarean. I recently read that in 2023 you were more likely to have an assisted birth (i.e. induction, epidural, unplanned c-section) in an NHS hospital than not. Again, do your own research.

At home, this cycle is less likely, partly because an epidural is just not an option, and partly because you are less likely to stop producing oxytocin. Therefore your labour is more likely to continue to progress naturally, resulting in an unassisted vaginal birth, like the one I had.

Is a problem free birth guaranteed at home? Absolutely not! I had a just in case hospital bag packed. Simon made sure the car had plenty of fuel and that he knew the route to our local hospital. Our midwives explained that should they feel that a problem was occurring that they would not be able to manage at home, they would insist on a transfer to hospital. They also explained that there would likely be warning signs in the build up to a problem that would require transfer, giving us time to act.

Now for some people giving birth at home will be a cause for anxiety – I get it. You might actually feel much safer in a hospital environment, in which case a home birth isn’t going to be for you. But for me, having had poor experiences with the NHS in the run up to my pregnancy, the opposite was true. I was nervous about a transfer to hospital… because it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to give birth at home, with my things, in an environment I could control. It’s going to be different for everyone. For me, it was perfect. Easy, no, but it was exactly what I wanted.

What was it like giving birth at home?

Being at home while giving birth was the absolute best decision. There was no awkward hospital transfer while in early labour. I was in a familiar, comfortable environment. I had everything that I needed right there, including food, drinks and snacks. We could control everything from the lighting, the music, to the lavender oil in our diffuser. And best of all, once baby was born, Simon, baby and I were able to snuggle up in our dressing gowns on our (well protected) sofa. After a quick check from my midwives, Simon was able to help me into our shower and get into bed. Our baby girl was brought to me in bed along with a mug of tea and marmite on toast. That was it. The midwives and Simon tidied up, then he was able to join me in bed for our first night as parents. I wouldn’t change a thing.

100% Positive Private Home Birth Experience

Our home birth experience was 100% positive. I put this down to a combination of important factors:

1. Support and trust. I had complete faith in my birthing team, which consisted of Simon, Debbie and Sarah.
2. Preparation. Simon and I had time to prepare for all the possibilities with Debbie and Sarah. We weren’t made to feel scared, but all the worst case scenarios were covered. We knew what to expect in each scenario.
3. Water birth. I think being in the water supported and eased my labour. I like a bath. It’s my happy place. Being in the water made it easy for me to move, it also gave me a sense of privacy, which might sound silly, but I liked it. The warm water soothed the pain (I’m not somebody who thinks labour can be pain free, it hurts, but your body is totally awesome and knows what to do and can absolutely handle everything that birth throws at it!).
4. Environment. We were at home. The lighting was low. The music was familiar. Simon was there. My things were there. No one was going to come in and interrupt our bubble. It was safe and warm. We didn’t have to ask anyone for anything, or find out where the toilet was, (or clean a gross hospital toilet – this has happened to me before). It really helped.

Was Paying for a Private Home Birth Worth It?

Yes, 100%. For anyone considering an alternative route to the NHS I would say go for it. The big objection is that things can go wrong. Yes they can, but your midwives will be prepared and prepare you for that. Do whatever is going to make you feel the most safe and comfortable. For some people that will be a hospital. For me, it was a home birth. I know of course money is a factor. We were lucky that we could afford to budget for it. I know that it simply won’t be an option for some. I would consider buying all the new born ‘essentials’ (few of which truly are essential) second hand, I promise you that can save you a lot of money that way. One of our big regrets is buying a brand new pram. There are also payment plans that you can consider instead of an upfront lump sum. That being said, I know that £5,000 is a lot of money, and unfortunately it creates a barrier for a lot of people! I feel so lucky that it was an option for our family. I do now know of one lady, who was unable to have a home birth with the NHS, so the NHS actually funded a Private Midwife to attend her birth… another option to look into!

Do What’s Best for You and Your Family

I can honestly say that I am converted to both home births and private births. Every time I read a new NHS maternity statistic, or hear another birth story that ends in induction and then an unplanned C-section I become more thankful for the choices we have made – however controversial they may appear. Birth and pregnancy are not a time to worry about what someone else might think. Do what feels best for you and your family and let fate take care of the rest.

That’s a wrap for now…

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