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I know that homemaking isn’t a very trendy word. Honestly though, it might not be trendy, but I think homemaking (in some form or another) is essential.
Homemaking probably means very different things to different people. To me, it means organisation, accountability, and management. Now a mum and wife, the responsibility of homemaking feels even more weighty. Of course, I think there’s a much softer side to homemaking. Sorry to sound even more old-fashioned, but it’s about making ‘a house, a home’. Maybe at first glance that doesn’t look so important. But as I get older, as our family grows, the importance of our home grows as well.
Firstly, we spend more time at home. When we were single and then dating, the concept of home didn’t seem so important. I think largely because we were rarely there. You go out. You go on dates to restaurants. Weekends away. Socialising with friends. Then you have kids and things change. For one thing date night now requires a babysitter. So you have date nights at home. You need to be home for naps, bedtimes and bath times. The list goes on.
Suddenly you’re spending more and more time at home or in your garden. The importance of ‘home’ grows. As does the list of responsibilities of the homemaker. You’re feeding more people. Shopping for more people. Cleaning more rooms. (Constantly tidying toys!)
You’re also making new traditions as a family. Pancakes on Sunday. Decorating for Easter. Maybe hosting your first Christmas. Suddenly previously trivial holidays become that much more important. You want to build new traditions and memories for your young family. If you wear the homemaking hat then most of those tasks fall to you. And I love it.
Welcome to my Motherhood Blog Hennys Home
I’m Olivia Henny. Wife, and Mum living in the Northeast of England. In October 2021 my boyfriend proposed and on Christmas Eve we got married at the church across the road.
Three weeks after our wedding we found out that we were expecting. Just a few weeks before my due date we moved house. Relocating from our terrace house in the city, to the Northumberland countryside. As we unpacked the last box I went into labour (a week overdue).
We had our first daughter by a natural home birth using a private midwife (without using the NHS). We now have two daughters. Having already done two-under-two, we’re about to add a third baby to the chaos that is our home. And I couldn’t be more excited!
You can read more about our story here.
Follow along as I share the highs and lows of my motherhood and homemaking journey.
Skip Ahead
Before I answer question: does homemaking matter? If you are just hear for the hard stuff. If you are just here because you want some quick advice about improving your own homemaking skills. Then I understand. 100+ words about doing laundry is a lot for anyone. Jump to my last section to see my top 5 homemaking tips and tricks. These homemaking ideas have improved and streamlined my household. They have also made me better at homemaking.
What is Homemaking?
A homemaker is going to look different in every family. Generally speaking, a homemaker is someone who looks after the home and family. It’s the primary carer within your family unit. In my family that’s me. I’m definitely solely responsible for all aspects of the kitchen. This includes the shopping, cooking and cleaning of that space. My hubby’s talents do not lie in the kitchen. And my little ones are far too young to be anything more than very messy and slow sous chefs.
I love cooking and baking. I’m quite happy for the kitchen to be my sole domain. It’s where I find joy and fill my cup in terms of creativity. That’s one of the many pleasures of homemaking. There are so many aspects of homemaking, that there’s usually one area that you excel in. That fills your cup. For me its cooking and gardening.
Of course, the other side to this, is that there are so many aspects to homemaking. If you are homemaking, you wear a lot of different hats. You must learn to juggle. Learning to actually juggle is probably easier. Especially when in the season of toddlers and babies there are few quiet moments. There is an endless to-do list. Your unlikely to have an assistant, and you definitely don’t get any paid leave.
The list of tasks that are required just to keep your home running (sort-of) smoothly is long. Its long and varied. You have a lot to do and even more to remember. I also think the role of homemaking can sometimes be undervalued. Many of the tasks that fall to the homemaker aren’t particularly glamorous. When your asked at the end of the day, “what did you do today?” “Well, I did two loads of laundry, cooked three meals, paid a bill and changed eight nappies…” It’s not always riveting stuff!
In fact, I often find that I don’t even mention the everyday tasks that fall to me. Instead, I’ll talk about the kid’s latest milestone or the outing we squeezed in. I don’t even realise it. But I’m usually undermining my own day. As I’m still a business owner, whilst also wearing the homemaker-hat. If asked the question “what did you do today?” I’m far more likely to talk about the emails I sent, than the chores I completed.
I think it’s easy to be overlooked when homemaking. I’m not really talking about what other people think. I’m talking about self-worth. The realisation that what you do as a homemaker matters. That it’s important. That it’s valued, probably more than you realise, by the people in your family unit.
My own season of babies and toddlers makes it even harder. Not only because there’s a lot to do and little adult conversation. But also, because my toddler is unlikely to hand me a star sticker because I cooked a top-notch meal. Praise must come from within.
I think homemaking requires confidence. It requires the ability to understand what you do. Know what you need to do. And say to yourself “job well done” when by some miracle you achieve what you set out to do. Which leads me on to my next topic, the ‘repetition of homemaking’.
Repetitive and Mundane Routines of Homemaking
I have boldly stated that I love my role as our family’s homemaker. And that’s true. That being said, there are aspects of homemaking that become very repetitive. Boring even. Number one for every mum out there has got to be laundry.
The laundry never ends. Washing in, washing out. It never stops. I do roughly two loads a day. Every day. With few exceptions. There was a time when the laundry started to get to me. Now, I’m in a routine. I get up. I make my tea and write my to-do list. I turn on the pre-loaded washing machine. I take the clothes out of the tumble dryer, and I put the bag at the bottom of the stairs. Clothes for our room are put away after my run and shower before the kids are up. The girl’s clothes go to their room and are put away at bath time.
If you don’t have kids, or if you have a bigger washer, then maybe two loads a day seems excessive. I’m sure it is to most people. Well I separate lights and darks. We also use a lot of cloth wipes at home (instead of baby wipes). And cloth wipes for the girls in the kitchen (instead of kitchen towel). Both get washed separately and on a higher temperature than the rest of the laundry. I do delicate cycles for some of our clothes. So, when all is said and done, two loads a day stops the laundry from piling up.
But there was a time when the laundry seemed like my weekly Everest. It took me a while to find my groove. Now I have one. There’s no stress. We don’t run out of clothes or wipes. There aren’t baskets of unfolded clothes everywhere. It just took a routine. Some trial and error. Is it sexy? No. Is it exciting? Definitely not. Is it needed? Yes! Valued? I would say yes if the clean clothes ran out! Is it going away? No.
There are quite a few tasks like this. We can add some of the other cleaning jobs to this list that is not particularly fun or exciting. But they are essential. They need to happen to keep us clean, organised and to some extent tidy. And they usually fall to the homemaker.
Now, I realise I have written a few 100+ plus words on laundry already. Perhaps not the sexiest of blogs. But I have more to say on the subject, so get comfy.
Now that I have a routine with the laundry there are aspects of it that I have come to enjoy. For one thing I have decorated my laundry room/utility. It has cute little boxes and baskets. Is it necessary to have a pretty laundry room? Of course not! Does it make me feel good when I go in there and see the trinkets I have collected? Yes. This is one aspect of homemaking that I love. By simply making something special or memorable, you can make a dull and boring task seem homely, time-honoured, and worthwhile.
Teaching Life Skills About Homemaking
Now that my eldest is a little older (two) I have a helper in the laundry room. This is another aspect of doing the laundry that I have come to love. She gets 20p every time she helps me to load and unload the tumble dryer. She even passes me the coat hangers so I can hang the clothes on the Sheila Maid. She would do it without the incentive of pocket money.
She loves to be my helper. I love that! It’s special. I feel that I am teaching her a skill that she will someday pass on to her children. Is it a complicated skill that requires a degree? No. Will she use this life lesson more than she will one day use algebra? Yes! Say what you will, but learning basic life skills is important. We’ve already lost so many traditional skills. Our treasured time in the laundry room together, well I hope it’s a time she never forgets. I know I won’t.
Learning New and Old Skills
This leads me on to my next laundry segue. Traditional skills. Now I realise that doing the laundry nowadays compared to times of yore is probably incomparable. And believe me, I have no desire to get out a washer board and start scrubbing in the garden! But since having children, I inevitably read more labels. I then search the ingredients list and freak out! Overall, I have become more conscientious about a lot of things in our home. I don’t want my children to consume E-numbers or pesticides etc.
One area where I have done a lot of research is the laundry. More specifically laundry detergent. Basically, most detergents aren’t good. They have a lot of harmful chemicals, toxins, and perfumes. They hang around on your largest organ (your skin) and they are absorbed. Generally, the picture isn’t good. So, I investigated toxic-free alternatives. Let me tell you they are pricey!
Then I stumbled across a lady on Instagram called Nancy Birtwhistle. She is a British Bake-Off winner and a self-proclaimed eco-warrior. I love her. She has so much knowledge to pass on and share. Most of her time and know-how she shares for free. She has a homemade recipe for laundry detergent. I tried and tested it. I still use it. Considering that I do two loads a day, that is a lot of laundry detergent. Even if I was to buy the on-offer Supermarket toxic stuff, it’s still an expensive purchase! Making my own saves us so much money. It’s also toxin free!
In the process of doing the boring laundry I learned a new skill. I have saved us money. I have improved our health. Basically, I’m Superwoman! Just kidding. But I have done something that I’m proud of. And the opportunities don’t stop with laundry detergent.
This year I’m growing my first ever proper vegetable garden. I’m learning so much. I’ve also learned (from Nancy) how to make my own non-toxic cleaners. The opportunities for growth and learning are endless. And that is one of the amazing things about homemaking.
That’s the thing about so many aspects of homemaking. From the outside in it can look boring, sad even. There’s no bonus package, or promotion, or fancy title. There are just little actions that keep your house and family running. But it’s work that matters. It’s work that adds up. And there are so many skills to be learned and improved. You’re just never going to get much recognition for it. (I guess you could always write a blog about it!)
Freedom of Expression and Responsibility
I have a lot of unstructured time. I think that more adequately describes the time of the homemaker. You have time. Time to fill. Also a limited amount of time to get stuff done. Days can be both long and short.
I have always wanted to be a homemaker. I probably wouldn’t have been able to define my wants as such when I was young. Now that I am an adult, wife and Mum, I can see that my youthful personality aligned strongly with homemaking. They still do. I like creating, designing and making.
I also like to make things better. I like it when I come up with a new system or routine. I’m constantly tweaking recipes. I’m constantly changing things. While homemaking, I have a lot of freedom. I am my own boss to some extent. As long as the little people are fed and watered (okay it’s harder than that!), then I can do what I want. This of course is a double-edged sword. On the one hand I have a lot of freedom. I have a lot of choice and room for self-expression. Not something you often get in the workplace. With that comes responsibility.
I am responsible for a lot of things. Things that can seem trivial at first glance. I keep people fed. I keep people clean. I keep myself fed and clean. I buy things, budget for things. I improve things and have to know when things will soon run out. I essentially have to keep the little people alive. That’s a big job. It’s a demanding job. And it can be lonely.
When people say “your so lucky, you must have so much time”, I want to laugh. In reality, I have very little time to myself. For the last two and a half years I’ve rarely been to the loo without an audience. I have a lot of unstructured time. I think that more adequately describes the time of the homemaker. You have time. Time to fill. Also, a limited amount of time to get stuff done. Days can be both long and short.
Finding Balance in Homemaking
Routines and schedules. Both have really helped me. Not only in my homemaking duties, but also as a Mum. There is of course a balance. I was just talking to my husband about this. I don’t like to over schedule our weeks. I like purposeful days at home, where we can bake or go into the garden. Where there’s no morning rush. I also like scheduled activities out of the house where my little ones can get out their wiggles. It’s a balance. Homemaking and motherhood, both are all about juggling and finding your balance.
It’s also about the balance between getting things done; the cleaning and laundry; and getting inspired. Making Christmas wreaths, hanging family photos. Making your house a place filled with memories, fun and nostalgia. I think if I were only to focus on housework I might lose my passion for homemaking. By making our home look and feel nice, I’m more inclined to keep it tidy and clean. Passion for your home must be there, else the duller things become harder too.
I think to be a good homemaker you must have self-discipline. I would be lost without my to-do list. I’m the same with my professional work. On the days where I have no plan, no checklist, I’m lost. It’s not that there’s nothing to do. There is always more than enough to be done. It’s just that there is so much to do, I don’t know where to start.
Getting up at 5am has been a game changer for me. It’s not a brag. It probably demonstrates more of my faults than it does my strengths. For example, I am rubbish if I have to exercise in the evening. My husband is an inspiration. If he sets his mind to something he will achieve it. Come hell or high water he’ll do it. If it means going to the gym at midnight, he’ll be there.
By 9pm I’m done. If working out hasn’t happened my 4pm it’s not very likely it’s going to. Getting up and exercising before my children are awake is the absolute best thing for me. It makes me a much nicer, less chubby mum. 5am is also when I write my to-do list. I can sit and think about the day ahead. My priorities, obligations and create a list. I think it’s a girl thing, but I love ticking actions off a list! If it’s written down I’m far more likely to do it.
I actually bought a day-by-day diary for 2025. Each page has just one day on it. That’s where I write my to-do list. I can roll things over to the next day if they don’t get done. I can also see my progress. I find writing it down is far better than a list on my phone. I’m looking forward to the end of the year when I can see all that I have achieved.
How do you get recognition as a homemaker?
I think a lot of recognition needs to come from within. Now that’s not to say that I’m not appreciated. I am. My husband has been so supportive of me ending my professional career to become a full-time homemaker. He sees the value of the role, and the value of me working in that role full-time. I am supported and appreciated.
But it comes back to that conversation at the end of the day: “So how was your day?” “What did you do today?” How do you answer questions like that as a homemaker? You probably did 1000 things that day. But do they all seem important enough to talk about? I often think not. It’s a mindset thing. It’s something I need to get better at, because they are important.
I think this is where it’s important to have your passions when homemaking. Maybe that’s your garden, or home organisation, or seasonal decorations. Once you know your passions you will inevitably learn new skills. You will hone your crafts. That’s interesting. You will grow as a person and homemaker. I think it makes “what did you do today?” a more exciting question to answer.
Honestly, at the end of the day I don’t want to talk about how many nappies I changed. My husband probably doesn’t want to hear about it. It’s not because it’s not appreciated, but it’s hardly dinner conversation. I do want to talk about my passions. I want to talk about my wins and successes. I’m proud of the new skills I’m learning, and the money I’ve saved us.
I think once you find your passions, you see your self-worth and the value of your role as a homemaker. You talk about your wins more. You will naturally receive more recognition, and more verbal appreciation, because you present yourself that way. You answer the end of day questions with enthusiasm and that shines through. Recognition really does need to come from within. If you see your value, so will those around you.
My 5 Top Tips for Homemaking
If you don’t fancy reading 100+ words about doing the laundry (then I don’t blame you). But you might be interested in reading my homemaking round up. I have condensed my ramblings from this mom blog into my five top homemaking tips. My advice for homemakers who are presumably (like me) interested in improving their craft.
Tip 1: Make a to do list
Obvious, but therefore often over-looked. Not only does it get things from brain to the more reliable paper. But it also helps to give your day structure. Without really meaning to you establish your priorities and create a plan for the hours ahead. Somehow, seeing it ink also makes it more tempting to complete and tick off. I find I’m more productive.
I’m also more realistic. If a task remains unfinished it gets rolled over to the next day, becoming a higher priority. Its efficiency at its simplest. For my to do list I use a day-by-day diary. I get up and write my to-do list on the days date page. This keeps me even more accountable. At the end of the year I will see what I have achieved. Here’s a link to my diary.
Tip 2: Get up early
It doesn’t have to be 5am. But if you can slice out a few hours of time each day to do something for yourself. It sets you up for success. Maybe even just to get ready in peace. Your day will be better. You will be happier. You’ll be more productive and more patient. This has been the biggest change that I have made this year.
I’m no good in the evening. If I wait to do what needs to be done until after the kids are asleep I probably won’t do it. I’m just too tired. Getting up before them has brought me a lot of peace. It took about five days to really establish the habit. Those five days were hard. After that, it honestly feels no different to getting up at 7am.
Perhaps, (unlike me), you’re a night owl. Stay up for an extra hour. Go to the gym when the kids are in bed. Find a time when you feel empowered to be productive, and pursue what makes you feel good. The benefits are numerous. I find my little morning slice of time makes me a much more patient and pleasant Mum!
Tip 3: Create routines and systems
This is going to look different depending on your season of life. But if you can, assign certain days or times to certain tasks. Establish a flow. Then you will find that the boring and mundane routines of homemaking become more streamlined and less stressful.
One of my favourite new hacks is my homemaking scheduler. It’s simply a word document of my never changing chores. The ones that get repeated each morning, evening or week. They’re written down. They fall into the am or pm. Just a rough flow of time.
I saw this done by another mum on YouTube called Becca Bristow. She called it her mom-binder. It’s what gave me the inspiration. It sounds silly but if you get it from head to paper, you have more brain space. The idea is you make less decisions throughout your day. It works. It gives you head space and an attack plan. Start with a brain dump of all your never-ending chores. Go from there.
It also makes you more realistic. What can you get done? What can you outsource? What needs to be forgotten? A list of achievable daily chores has made me more productive. I don’t have to think about it. Its not all in my head. No decision fatigue about what I should do first.
Tip 4: Keep learning
I have learnt so many new skills while homemaking. I will continue to do so. I’ll get better at cooking. Better at making my own soaps and cleaners and laundry detergent. It saves us money. It protects our health. It helps me to grow. This year I am planting my very first veg garden. It might be a disaster first time round. Try again. You have a unique opportunity when homemaking to break away from corporate thinking.
You do not have one defined role. Your role is multi-faceted and ever changing. Enjoy it. Learn more. Try more. Embrace the role and season you are in. There is so much information out there. So much for you to try. Some of it might not sit right within your home, but some of it will. You have a unique opportunity to learn new skills, and to pass those skills on down the generations. The more you learn, the more your kids will see and learn. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Tip 5: Get inspired
You can probably tick this one off as you are here reading about homemaking. But I find that the more I take inspiration from others. Or from books, TV, YouTube, the more inspired I get. The more passionate I become. The more joy I bring to my day. For me, this season of life is unique. There will be few other periods of time in my life where my attention is so focused on homemaking. I want to look back and know I enjoyed it.
Nothing is too silly or trivial. Make the Easter bonnets. Decorate for Valentine’s Day. Start new family traditions. Do whatever is going to bring you and your family more joy and fun. Seasons ebb and flow.
Don’t let yourself or anyone make you feel as if homemaking is silly. You’re making memories, creating traditions, and making a house a home. The little things. The things that don’t really matter, are likely the ones that your kids will talk about in years to come. Remember that time we made homemade marshmallows and had a fire pit outside in the snow? Remember when we had an Easter egg hunt in the garden?
That’s a wrap for now…
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